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Introducing: Behind the Scenes of Total Hell

A hilarious low budget mockumentary, documenting hapless filmmaker “Jamie Gunn” as he attempts to produce a horror movie. Follow Jamie and friends from the initial pitch of the movie, to the premiere upon its completion. Along the way Jamie loses his actors, friends and eventually – the plot.

BTSOTH Poster 2013

Behind the Scenes of Total Hell is an independent feature film by writer, producer, director and editor Andy Wilton. This mockumentary will have you laughing and cringing from start to finish. The lead Jamie Gunn, played by Grey McCulloch is the source of a lot of the film’s comedy and responsible for all of its cringe-worthy moments. Jamie, whether intentionally or not, will remind you of an early Ricky Gervais character represented in the way Jamie keeps looking at the camera and some of the lines he comes out with, pure gold.

Another performance which brings the laughs is that of Sam Smart who plays Raul Kemp, the producer who spends most of his time loosing the funding, drinking away what funding they do have and receiving less than pleasant phone calls from a rather unsavory loan shark. His constant mistakes intermitted with the occasional break down is what makes Raul a funny and interesting addition to the cast.

Also the surprise appearance of Ian McCulloch was fantastic. Ian plays Charles Leeson, an actor who starred in a number of horror films in the 1970s and 80s. This is, as many of you horror fans will know, true of Ian’s career having starred in films such as Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979), Zombie Holocaust (1980) and of course the television series Survivors (1975). This is testament to the established actor, to identify an independent film worth working on and lending a hand, fantastic.

While we are on the subject of established actors appearing in independent films, Total Hell attracted yet another, Norman Lovett who I am sure you will all remember as Holly from Red Dwarf (1988) among a host of other work. Norman provides the voice of the narrator and delivers some beautifully timed and subtle jokes, usually at Jamie and co’s expense.

But none of this would have been possible without the hard work and dedication of Andy and company. Andy is no stranger to the concept of film making, having produced work for companies such as Nike, ASDA, Orange and Mitre, just to name a few. But this is Andy’s real passion, making films. As he says himself “I have spent a massive amount of time and effort on this, I’m exhausted.” Understandable, with the amount of work it takes to produce such a feature and with the small budget of just £1000 to work with, I’m sure there were many late nights spent wondering if it was even possible.

Such are the trials and obstacles independent film makers must face in order to make their ideas a reality. But with the cast and crew Andy had to work with, it made it a little easier to achieve this.

This mockumentary is truly brilliant, supplying some genuine laughs and moments which will make your cringe as you follow this set of film makers as they attempt to make a low budget horror film with an ever changing script, an ever changing crew and next to no money. Will they make it? find out for yourself!

The film, amazingly, is free to watch on YouTube, so there is no reason not to watch it! I have embedded the full length film below so get watching people. Also if you would like to know more about the film or Andy himself, I have linked the contact information at the bottom.

So get watching and support the independent film scene!

Written by Oliver Willis

Behind the Scenes of Total Hell Contact Information:

Official Website: http://www.btsoth.co.uk/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BTSOTH

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BTSOTH

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1458408/

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FILM HOUSES YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO LIVE IN

FILM HOUSES YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO LIVE IN

 

From the producer of Paranormal Activity, Insidious, and Sinister comes DARK SKIES: a supernatural thriller about a young family living in the suburbs.  Daniel and Lacey Barret and their two young sons witness an escalating series of disturbing events involving their family.  Unable to understand what is happening to them their safe and peaceful home quickly unravels and friends turn against them.

When it becomes clear they are being targeted by an unimaginably terrifying and deadly force, Daniel and Lacey take matters into their own hands to uncover the truth and protect what belongs to them.

 

Finding the perfect home is tough enough without having to think about ghosts, demons, and aliens.  So to celebrate the release of Dark Skies on 3 April we are taking a whistle-stop tour around the film houses you really wouldn’t want to call home, including: the Bates mansion from Psycho, Leatherface’s family home from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Freeling household from Poltergeist.

The Barrett family home (DARK SKIES)

You could not ask for a nicer home than the Barrett’s house. Situated in the heart of a pleasant neighborhood with friendly neighbors on both sides this is a lovely property for any family. The only downside to this location is the occasion attacks from ‘The Grays’, dark forces intent on causing disruption and general havoc.

The Bates Mansion (PSYCHO)

Do not be deceived by attractive offers of dinner with an elderly woman at the Bates mansion. For once you step into this home your chances of coming out alive are seriously diminished. A particular room to avoid would be the basement, in which you may meet a few more residence than you bargained for.

House of Leatherface (THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE)

This quiet country residence is far from the city and will provide time away from the hustle and bustle. Unfortunately it also homes a leather-faced, chainsaw-wielding serial killer who enjoys impaling women and massacring travelers searching for petrol. It is also worth noting that local petrol station attendants and hitchhikers are not to be trusted.

112 Ocean Avenue (THE AMYTVILLE HORROR)

This Dutch Colonial house located in a suburban neighborhood in Long Island looks like the perfect home for a family of five, but all is not as it seems in this dark residence. Strange goings on include swarms of flies, red swine-like eyes outside the second floor window and ooze that drips out of the walls and the toilets.

The Freeling household in Cuesta Verde (POLTERGEIST)

In the planned community of Cuesta Verde sits the Freeling house. The house seems fine at first but when the static on the TV starts playing up it is time to go. Be especially careful of the living room ceiling and bedroom closet. Nothing serious, they are just portals to a ghostly realm inhabited by ghouls who will steal your children. Like I said, nothing serious.

The Isolated Cabin (THE EVIL DEAD)

A remote cabin in Morristown Tennessee is the ideal location for a spring break with a couple of friends. The local woodland is perfect for walks and the cabin is nice and cosy. My only advice would be to steer clear of reading the ‘book of the dead’. If you decide to give this charming publication a read you may experience such frustrations as sadistic trees, fire-poker-wielding girlfriends and demons possessing your friends and trying to butcher you.

The MacNeil’s (THE EXORCIST)

Situated in Georgetown, Washington is the house which the MacNeils call home. This lovely re-brick house on the corner of Prospect and 36 is worth every penny. It’s worth avoiding one of the bedroom however, as a demon named Pazuzu has the nasty habit of possessing its inhabitant. It usually takes two priests to get rid of this nasty individual, and please note that the window will need replacing after their visit.

Big Indie Film Sale! Get a Bargain AND Help the Indie Scene! Win Win!

I received an email this morning from our friends over at Spirit Level Film. Instead of me interpreting it for you I figured  hey, why not let you read it for yourself! So here you go!

First off is a 50% discount on all films for just 3 days (ends Sunday night) for all our customers and a very big thank you for supporting us in 2012. Simply use coupon code SLF50 at the checkout. It’s applicable across the board – even the films on special offer already.

Secondly, at last we’ve come to a place where we’re comfortable with our admittedly eclectic mix of motoring, art and politics. Combining this with the great access we have to behind-the-scenes operators who move the worlds of these uneasy bedfellows has resulted in a decision to feature many of the unreported conversations and interviews we have with them on our blog. We’ve no idea how they’ll sit side by side but at least it’ll give you an all too rare and first-hand insight from source before you get to hear about it in the news.

First up is politics, with a seriously tough, secret negotiator, next is an exclusive with one of the great petrolhead film directors.

We’ll also be launching our sneak preview section – where you can watch extended previews from all our films. Bear with us on this one, it’s under development and got a few days more work – we’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime – here’s wishing you a happy, healthy year to come with everything you could wish for yourselves.

Spirit Level Film is a fantastic website aimed at the distribution of both indie news and products! These websites are all too rare these days so get on over there and see for yourself. Pick up some amazing bargains and see some truly brilliant and inspirational films from the wonderful world of independent cinema! http://www.spiritlevelfilm.com/

Here is a trailer to a documentary series WatchReadReview have worked with and is just one of the many films available:  

Long Live Indie!

Project Evolution

Project Evolution

It’s the age old battle between man and nature. Dr Amir Khan is one of the world’s leading scientists, a man who has achieved everything possible in his respective field. He is head of genetics at the Eureka Institute of research. With the world of science at his feet he decides to embark on his most difficult challenge yet, challenging nature itself.

His proposition being the next stage in human evolution achieved by altering the human genes. Unfortunately not everyone shares in Dr Khan’s ambitions and the institute swiftly closes down his project.

But great men such as Dr Khan are not deterred by such minor set backs and so he decides to continue with his research. Despite the warnings of his colleague and friend Helena, he takes his work home with him and begins a video diary to mark his groundbreaking work.

Everything seems to be going well, but when tackling nature, nothing is certain. The positive effects the experiment has had on Dr Khan suddenly take a turn for the worse. It turns into a race against time as Dr Khan fights to reverse the effects of his experiment. Khan finds out all the quickly, when man challenges nature, nature strikes back.

This is the second feature from writer, director and actor Shiraz Khan. The first being I Am Cursed which was again written, directed and starred Shiraz. From what I have seen of Project Evolution I can honestly say looks excellent. The lighting and camera work looks outstanding, creating the aura of mystery and horror as these armed men are fighting a force unknown to the audience.

The ‘found footage’ aspect is something very popular at the moment, especially with horror films. If the entire film is indeed found footage then this could be some very interesting work indeed. The cast look like an interesting bunch, all independent actors and headed up by Shiraz Khan himself.

What I love about these types of projects is the involvement of the film-maker throughout the entire production. Because Shiraz is also starring in this feature it ensures this sense of continuity and completion. Shiraz taking the lead role in this film tells us this is a man who is passionate about this film and has confidence in its success. Fantastic stuff and I am eagerly awaiting the end result.

To find out more about this fantastic feature head on over to: http://www.projevolution.co.uk

Written by Oliver Willis

The Tunnel (2011)

The Tunnel is another of the suddenly popular ‘found footage’ films which seem to be pouring onto our screens. But what sets this film apart from all the others is the use of more than just a handheld, shaky camera. The Tunnel sees a journalist and her camera team head down to the abandoned railway lines under Sydney. Their aim is to uncover the truth about why their government abandoned plans of recycling water using the old tracks in order to put an end to the drought.

The ‘found footage’ approach is nothing new, what with such films as Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity and of course, the one that started it all, The Blair Witch Project. One thing all these films have in common is shaky and often annoying camera angles. What The Tunnel does differently in that respect is to use better equipment. Because they are journalists and professional camera men, they have the best equipment which means better quality shots and less needless and irritating shaking. They do have a handheld camera which they flick to occasionally for the night vision but apart from that, the use of a quality camera is something refreshing and needed to this genre.

The use of unknown actors is another trait of ‘found footage’ films. The Tunnel is no different and director Carlo Ledesma picks his cast wonderfully. The chemistry between the main four is something you notice right off the bat. It is as if they are a team and have been working together for years, the dialogue seems easy, the banter works and there seems to be no forced emotions.

The only bad point to this film would be its initial pace. It does start rather slowly with interviews with two of the main cast who are reflecting on their experience and telling us what happened and how they felt. This is not a good idea as the audience now knows that these two characters survive the events in this film as they are telling the tale. The interviews also seemed to slow the pace of the film, sometimes going into needless detail. The interviews added a slight sense of realism but more so gave the feeling of watching a documentary. The film could have done without these interviews or at the very least cut them down a bit and move the pace of the film on.

Overall the film produced some excellent moments, some making you jump, other just down right spooky. If you are not scared easily by films I would suggest you give The Tunnel a try. After the initial documentary stage of the film comes the adrenaline pumping horror/thriller aspect, and it is done wonderfully.

The film’s numerous positive aspects by far out weight its negative. If you manage to stick out the interviews and build up at the beginning of the film then you will be rewarded with a found footage horror like no other.

Written by Oliver Willis

The Tunnel

The Tunnel – Blair Witch meets Raw Meat

The Tunnel, starring Bel Delia, Andy Rodoreda, Steve Davis and Luke Arnold, is the brand new Australian found-footage thriller where a terrifying fear is about to be unleashed.

When heading into a tunnel you are normally sure that there will be a light at the end of it. But the government abandoned train tunnels under Sydney are a dark, twisted maze where the shadows move and you have the feeling something is watching.

In 2007 the New South Wales government suddenly and inexplicably abandonned a project to recycle water found in the disused train tunnels beneath Sydney, despite being in the midst of a drought.

In 2008 investigative journalist Natasha (Bel Delia) is convinced of a government cover-up and is determined to prove her theory right by any means possible. Natasha and her team Peter Ferguson (Andy Rodoreda), Steve Miller (Steve Davis) and Jim Williams (Luke Arnaldo) descend into the subterranean labyrinth of the city – but as they hunt for their story, a much bigger story is hunting them.

The Tunnel has been recognised by Variety as, ” Taking a Chapter from The Blair Witch Project and a page from 1973 cult item Raw Meat” while HorrorAsylum described it as “Terrifying and effective”.

The Tunnel is out on DVD in the UK from August 6.

Written by Oliver Willis

The Moth Diaries

The Moth Diaries (2011)

In the same vein as Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan, The Moth Diaries is a dark brainteaser – a gothic psychological thriller that continuously challenges the audience’s perception of reality without coming to any definitive conclusions. Here is a film in which we cannot trust most of what we see or hear; we’re being toyed with, and whatever deductions we make stem entirely from what we personally bring to the experience. I know this is the case because many scenes are intentionally structured to be interpreted in two ways. That writer/director Mary Harron pulled this off without making it seem mechanical or contrived is something of a great achievement. We’re obviously being manipulated, and yet it’s done with such passion and cleverness that we find we don’t much care.

Adapted from the novel by Rachel Klein, it tells the story of Rebecca (Sarah Bolger), a sixteen-year-old starting a new semester at a very posh all-girls’ boarding school, which was a hotel over 100 years ago. Entries in her personal journal, coupled with very brief flashback sequences, reveal a deep personal tragedy, namely the suicide of her father, a published poet. When she first attended the school two years earlier, it was just after his death, and her personal life was still very much a mess. She found solace in Lucie (Sarah Gadon), who has since become her best friend. This semester, Rebecca feels lighter, freer, and generally much happier than she once felt. But things soon change with the arrival of a new student. Here enters Ernessa (Lily Cole), a quiet, dark-haired, pale-skinned young beauty.

Ernessa doesn’t seem unpleasant, not at first, although there are certain odd characteristics Rebecca notices. Why is it, for example, that she joins all the girls in the cafeteria yet never eats? She can’t be anorexic; physically, she looks like a normal teenage girl. One night, Rebecca wakes up, looks out her open window, and sees Ernessa pacing barefoot on the pavement. Lucie doesn’t seem to take notice of any of this. In fact, she’s quite taken by Ernessa, who helps Lucie study her German and Greek assignments. Lucie tells Rebecca that she’s not giving Ernessa a chance, and that although she has unresolved issues, Ernessa is a nice person once you get to know her. Rebecca doesn’t see it the same way. From her perspective, Ernessa is stealing Lucie away from her.

The new English teacher, Mr. Davies (Scott Speedman), is an outspoken admirer of Rebecca’s father. He even possesses a first edition of his book of poems. This, combined with his indisputably handsome features, leads to unshakable suspicions on our part, namely that he will cross a line with his students – or, more specifically, with Rebecca. There is one scene that clearly shows something physical, and yet the nature of Rebecca’s character soon gets us to wondering if that scene actually took place. But before that happens, he introduces his students to the world of gothic vampire fiction, which he says all contain sex, blood, and death. From this, Rebecca begins to suspect that Ernessa is herself a vampire. She looks at a group photo from 1907 and sees a figure that, although somewhat blurred, resembles Ernessa a great deal. She begins to smell something rotten emanating from Ernessa’s room, although no one else seems to notice it. When Rebecca sees Ernessa walking precariously on the ledge outside her window, it looks as if she reenters by literally passing through the glass without it breaking.

Rebecca’s world is repeatedly disrupted by a string deaths and gradual isolation from her friends. Ominous occurrences escalate in frequency. What are we to make of the scene in which Rebecca quite suddenly gets a nosebleed when Ernessa walks into the room … and Ernessa takes a small taste of Rebecca’s blood on her finger? Why does Ernessa’s room appear to be filled with thousands of moths, especially since a moth is central to a happy memory Rebecca has of her father? Lucie’s health progressively takes a turn for the worse, her energy draining day by day. Could it be that Rebecca is Ernessa’s real target? And what about the sudden appearance of a diary from 1907, in which a young woman vividly recalls a suicide?

The one question that’s never really answered is whether or not Ernessa is an actual vampire. It’s quite possible that Rebecca’s obsession with her, along with visions of incidents that have no rational foundation, stems from jealousy and the trauma of her recent loss. In a quietly tense scene, Rebecca toys with a razor blade – which, incidentally, came to be in her possession through unknown means – and wonders aloud if she carries the same “sickness” her father carried. Strange, how a film so untrustworthy in narrative can simultaneously be so intelligent and so absorbing. The Moth Diaries is an exercise in game-playing; we may not know what the rules are, or even if there are any rules, but we go along with it regardless out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Written by Chris Pandolfi

I  Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer

I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer (2008)

Whatever its intentions ‘I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer’, an Aussie horror comedy/spoof, doesn’t succeed in delivering any substantial laughs. It somewhat works as your dumb generic slasher flick but outside of that it fails on all accounts.

This feature debut from Doug Turner and Stacey Edmonds focuses on a psychopath, armed with stumps and a razor sharp cricket glove, who goes on a killing spree after his former cricket team-mates tormented him 20 years earlier. Doesn’t that sound inviting?

This mockery of the nineties ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ starts out as your typical murder investigation then turns into a ridiculous story of survival. The bullies are confined in a “remote” cabin forcing these pathetic chumps to prepare themselves to get sliced and diced.

The film has fun with gruesome character fatalities, which mainly revolve around sexual gags, but these unsuccessful scenarios are the only glimmer of comedy. Soon to be perished victims are suffocated by crotch protection, impaled by sharpened cricket stumps, and try to run away whilst in bondage gear. These idiotic deaths may find some praise from easily pleased horror enthusiasts but it’s unlikely.

‘I Know’ lacks any inventive jokes and nosedives into common ground, resulting in unoriginality. Writer Doug Turner makes a last-ditch attempt for amusement with a shower scene, which can only be known as soft porn. It will have its target audience grinning but what’s the relevance?

Another big downfall is the lead isn’t generally funny or appealing in any way. The protagonist is an arrogant detective (Jai Koutrae) who’s an annoying stereotype and isn’t given the chance to develop, but admittedly you don’t expect character arcs from a film like this. Unfortunately there isn’t a fun character to even out the irritation.

Although the material is a bore ‘I Know’ has good pace thanks to good directing and editing. Split screens are introduced upping the creativity and style, however the look of the film cannot force good entertainment.

‘I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer’ tries to have fun with horror conventions but it’s just painstakingly unfunny.

Written by Ben Harris

intruders

Intruders (2011)

The perpetually frightening atmosphere of Intruders is continuously challenged and ultimately defeated by a confusing structure, gaps in logic, and a twist ending that raises more questions than it answers. Before we know the real secret of the film, we must blindly work our way through a plot that repeatedly blurs the line between reality, dreamscape, and pure fantasy. When the secret is revealed, we’re somewhat disillusioned, as it forces us to reprocess the entire film and come to the conclusion that it could not have unfolded the way it did. That’s assuming, of course, that I didn’t miss something along the way, which is certainly possible given the difficulty I had sorting through facts, characters, and events. What really eats away at me is that, short of me issuing a spoiler warning, I can’t be any more specific than that.

The film intercuts between two separate stories that will dramatically converge into one during the final act. What links them together during the first two acts is a shared brush with what appears to be a supernatural presence – a hooded, shadowy figure known as Hollowface, so named because he quite literally has no face. He can also “tear away” someone else’s facial features so that the person is left with a head that looks like a blank flesh canvas. Even before the twist, we’re left to wonder if such a physical mutilation is literal or figurative, but I’ll get into that later. He’s noticed by two characters, both young. One is a boy from Spain named Juan (Izan Corchero), who can’t be any older than six or seven. The other is a twelve-year-old girl from England named Mia (Ella Purnell).

Hollowface enters their lives in rather perplexing ways. In Juan’s case, Hollowface slips in through an open window in the middle of a rainstorm; he tries to strangle Juan’s mother, Luisa (Pilar Lopez de Ayala), only to stop when Juan enters the room and try to, I don’t know, consume him. This leads to a physical altercation between all three, which then leads to a confrontation on the scaffolding just outside the bedroom window. After that, I’m not really sure what the logistics are. Hollowface continuously reappears in Juan’s bedroom in the most ghostly of ways, although most of the time, the scenes end with Juan waking up screaming. Complicating matters further is the fact that all this started with Juan writing a story for a school assignment, one that didn’t yet have an ending.

Mia’s situation is even more baffling. Whilst visiting her grandparents’ secluded countryside estate, she reaches into a hole at the top of a tree and discovers an old matchbox. Within this box is a folded piece of paper, one that tells the fairytale-like story of Hollowface. After returning home, she claims it as her own for a school assignment, although she’s not sure how it ends, as that part of it was smudged out after years of sitting within the tree. She will repeatedly write things down, as if, I don’t know, willing Hollowface into being. Sure enough, he continuously manifests himself from within her bedroom closet. At one point, he attacks her and appears to “rip off” her lips. And yet her lips remain. She does, however, lose the ability to speak. She then cryptically tells – or, more accurately, writes down – to her therapist that she knows Hollowface doesn’t exist, but he thinks he does.

The only other person who can see Hollowface is Mia’s father, John (Clive Owen), a construction worker. The bond between father and daughter is strong, which comes into question as the film enters its final act. Indeed, we also question the bond between Juan and his mother, who’s perpetually frightened. We don’t know why until the end, and even then, it doesn’t make much sense given the sequence of events that take place. The single most bizarre inclusion is that of Father Antonio (Daniel Bruhl), who keeps re-entering mother and son’s life, presumably because he’s attracted to Luisa. She requests something of him, something that, given what we learn at the end, doesn’t seem all that likely. What did she think she would gain?

I understand how maddeningly vague this review has been, but the plot is constructed in such a way that I can’t get into detail. Not that the details matter all that much; they only make figuring this movie out more difficult. To give credit where credit is due, Intruders successfully establishes mood and, initially, keeps you on the edge of your seat in suspense. I would have appreciated it, however, if the story had a better grasp of an understandable plot and more easily defined characters. It might seem like the ending provides you with an explanation, but in reality, it only makes the waters murkier. It’s one of those resolutions that isn’t a resolution at all – a starting point for who, what, when, where, why, and how questions. The more explaining it does, the less sense it makes.

Written by Chris Pandolfi

the cabin in the woods large

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

“I love being scared.” So said Joss Whedon in an interview with Total Film regarding The Cabin in the Woods, which he produced and co-wrote with director Drew Goddard. “The things that I don’t like are kids acting like idiots, the devolution of the horror movie into torture porn and into a long series of sadistic comeuppances. Drew and I both felt that the pendulum had sung a little too far in that direction.” When I first read that quote a few weeks ago, I wished Whedon had been there with me, for I wanted to shake him by the hand and thank him for publically reaffirming what I’ve felt about horror movies for quite some time. But then I actually saw The Cabin in the Woods, and I couldn’t help but wonder why I wasn’t seeing things as he saw them. Something wasn’t quite right.

The film, promoted by Whedon himself as a “very loving hate letter” and “a serious critique of what we love and what we don’t about horror movies,” is nowhere near as clever or insightful as it has been made to seem. Whedon and Goddard clearly have fun with a number of threadbare horror clichés, but never once do they actually say anything relevant about them. All these men really do is confirm that they exist, which is short-sighted considering the fact that most horror audiences are already well aware of this. They think they’re letting us in on the joke when in fact we were in on it all along. What I was promised was satire; what I got was a confusing, ridiculous, and surprisingly depressing film in which archetypes and conventions are addressed but barely improved.

Central to the story are five college kids who were clearly intended to be one-dimensional caricatures. But pointing out their shallowness and actually commenting on it are two entirely different matters, and frankly, I would have preferred the filmmakers to go in the latter direction. There’s Dana, the reluctant virgin (Kristen Connolly). There’s her best friend, Jules, the perpetually horny sexpot (Anna Hutchison), who just dyed her hair blonde; although she can’t pronounce one of the words on Dana’s math book, it’s declared that she’s premed. There’s Jules’ boyfriend, Curt, the hunky jock (Chris Hemsworth). There’s Holden, the scholarly gentleman (Jesse Williams), who will inevitably fall for Dana. Finally, there’s Marty, the goofy pothead (Fran Kranz), who sounds like he knows more than he initially lets on.

They leave campus and take an RV to a remote part of the woods, where they vacation in a strangely decorated and certifiably creepy cabin. Little do they know that beneath the cabin lies a subterranean office superstructure, where a bureaucratic team of workers in suits, ties, and lab coats watch their every move via surveillance cameras. Two scientists, Hadley (Richard Jenkins) and Sitterson (Bradley Whitford), use a force field to seal the college kids into the wooded area and subject them to a scenario of their own design. They manipulate the circumstances as much as possible, mostly by the release of airborne chemicals that can change a person’s ability to think. They eventually open the cellar, where, amidst an eclectic mix of creepy Victorian paraphernalia, Dana finds an old diary. Upon reading a Latin incantation, zombies emerge from the ground and descend on the cabin.

At this point, I’m going to stop describing the plot in detail, as there are numerous twists and turns that most will not want spoiled. I will say that the film is intended to be both frightening and funny, and to an extent, it succeeds at both. In the humour department, we have more than the antics of the college kids; we have the working environment of the subterranean office. Just as it would be in an urban skyrise, we see division of labour and the formation of cliques. We see money pools and office partying, and there’s even enough time to work in the playful ribbing of the nerdy intern. When they’re not working, the scientists will gab about their personal lives; in the opening scene, Sitterson spends a great deal of time complain about his wife and her new cabinets.

There’s an extremely bloody confrontation involving every imaginable monster from the annals of horror, from wispy spirits to werewolves to giant cobras to robotic slicing machines to zombies to carnivorous mermen. All leads to a Lovecraftian ending that was not only lame-brained and inappropriate but also needlessly upsetting. Was that the point of The Cabin in the Woods? To espouse a nihilistic viewpoint of humanity? If this is Whedon’s idea of sticking it to the makers of slasher films and gore fests, he might want to steer clear of the horror genre altogether. I hate to think that there are other genres he feels have been corrupted. If he were to write another very loving hate letter, say for a romantic comedy or a musical, would it too end in the same way?

Written by Chris Pandolfi